Wednesday, April 27, 2011

Everything I wanted I guess...

Right now I have everything I ever dreamed of and wanted. A great, wonderful husband, friends and family that I love and they love me, a puppy and some kitties, got to travel a bit internationally and quite a bit nationally, great experiences...all of which I cherish most dear. It is just this disease that breaks my heart. I do try to stay positive but times like right now I cannot help but cry.....

This disease is so stupid!It is sad too because they don't know why people get it, so there truthfully is no way to arm yourself from getting it. I just hope that some day they will discover why it hits you and then discover a cure. I do know there has been great work in researching this disease. I guess time will tell.

Saturday, April 23, 2011


Ok after me breaking two glasses doing dishes I wrap it up-have my chili-mac that room ate Zach Fischer made and had a glass of wine. Well after soaking in the relaxing tub and shaving my legs I try to stand ad fell back twice. I get out finally., dry myself off and notice I am bleeding. More like gushing. I hobble to my room where my band aids I got with my Copaxone kit are. It takes me forever to open the first band aid (btw these are small round ones) and my cut is about to drip. Get the first one on where I think the cut is because my leg is so covered in blood I could not see. It is still drippy so I go to open another and since my fingers are still wet with blood this one curls up onto itself and becomes unable. I finally get the third band aid open and put on the second one on my right leg.
I got so annoyed with this I was cursing my life and this disease. So all I have to say in response to this day so far is...AAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHH!

abd my right hand is shaking as I try to edit this post. Fuck MS....fuck it I say.

broken fiasco

so I have been on a cleaning tirade because living in such squalor embarrasses me. Living in a clean home makes you feel good about yourself. So as I tackle all the bowls with food crusted on them and wine glasses from last night I was cleaning a pub glass. As I got it all soapy and was about to rinse it, it slips out of my hand and a chunk breaks off. I break out the broom and dust pan out of the closet; already exhausted from cleaning a whole sink of dishes. As I am trying to sweep up the glass I cannot see where the [piece went. And I am dropping the broom and falling over. I had to sit and that is what brings me here.

sometime we will find the glass...

Monday, April 18, 2011

less shaky hand

my right hand seems to be shaking less. I even use it when I am using my Wii again! Richard did say that when I would sleep my body would be healing itself. Just makes me happy. And I am glad he taught my body the pain off and on switch, but really I have not needed to use it much, which is good. Overall, Everything is getting better.

Sunday, April 17, 2011

Rebiff switch

so all of my worries of starting Rebiff were so silly. It is not much different than Copaxone and I did not get hit with the side effects that much because I told my body I would not get them. What a relief!

Tuesday, April 12, 2011


I seem to have great aspirations to take my positive spirit and fight for MS into positive speaking. I may just turn what I document in my blog to a book, maybe ghost-written by someone. hey if MS will take my dreams of traveling around the world as an art history professor, I will use the MS to do just that. Use the =disease against itself.
What do you say?

I will definitely have to thank my old therapist for guiding my to this. She was the one who said document my thoughts and experiences with MS and write it in a blog.

Sunday, April 10, 2011

the mild benefits of the shaky hand

so there is a small benefit to the shaky right hand. I can use my left hand for a few thing, with thanks to Richard Chase for helping me gain control of my left hand.

I have another appt this Wednesday with Richard for my shaky right hand. Yay for MS (more surprises). I am too strong and I have great people in my life to help me, like Shawn and my other friends and family. Thank you for making mg stronger :)A big note of thanks yto Richard for helping me. I am and will be in your debt.

Friday, April 8, 2011

Fighting MS with hypnotherapy

Long story short-my right hand started shaking uncontrollably, sometimes super fast. Although it gave a reason why I have horrible penmanship this was REALLY annoying. It made it hard to hold a phone and do my daily Copaxone shot.
Dr. Richard Chase of Chase the Mind Hypnosis had heard of my troubles, since he is a good friend,and offered to do some more hypnotherapy. He had done this for me before when my left hand was shaky and dull in sensation. After that first session I had full feeling in my left hand and it was not shaking anymore, uncontrollably,

So during this most recent session I did have trouble relaxing at first because my right hand was shaking hard. After the session my hand, although not completely better yet I was told it will take a bit but every day will get better. The evening after the session my hand was still shaking pretty hard but each day it is getting better. Although I still shake and my penmanship is still hard to do, I am so very hopeful because today was much better than when I saw him. which makes me hopeful. I go back to his office next Wednesday. I know this will get better and I believe if you can tell your body in this it will, just like quitting smoking, and dealing with stress.

Sunday, April 3, 2011

Shaky hands still

so my right hand is still shaky. I thought it may be the three cups of coffee I had yesterday and so I drank decaf this morning...still shaky. I try going into my bedroom to meditate on the gray mist that Richard Chase my hypnotherapist and friend set to invoke in me...yeah it is hard to meditate while the right hand is still shaking. Even typing this is hard which I definitely must use the spell-checker before I post.
When will this ever let up?? This is so hard... I guess what is harder will make you stronger? If so I better get to the point to kick Chuck Norris's ass.