just plain old sick

I am sick of being sick. My MS,anxiety, homesickness, loneliness is just hard!! I have no friends here and I am so far away from home. So many people I meet here are single serving friends it seems The friendship lasts just one chance encounter. It scares me to pieces not having health insurance or a Dr and I just miss my family so much. I miss going over to their place for a weekend and I miss the few friends I had there. I just need to get this out I know it takes time and I should be more adventuresome and go out and meet people but I just don't do that and never have done that. Every time I ever tried I just ended up sitting in a cafe alone. Aarggghh it is so frustrating.

how my MS first started

I spent 5 years of my life going to school for a major in art history. I got my foot in the door to volunteer at the local museum in our city through my psychiatrist. well i jumped in immediately the summer of 2006 when I was 26. It was amazing that in 3 months I had a job interview there. When I was on my way there on the bus for about an hour I started to have to pee. In America we are extremely have a lack of public restrooms. I was almost to the museum when i started to pee myself! argh, i have never done that since i was young. I was thinking why the hell did this have to happen now?! When i got into the museum I immediately went to the bathroom, pulled off my tights, hoped to god I remembered to shave, and washed my legs down. Then i put the strongest smelling lotion I had on me on my legs and sprayed some perfume. I went to the interview hoping to god that they would not be able to smell the pee on me.

Well I guess they couldn't because I got the job. I could not believe it! I found a job at one of the best art museums in the nation. I was so happy and work the hardest I could. You can fight this! Months go by and then my eyesight started getting blurry. Long story short I went to the eye doctor and they noticed some bloackage in my vision. At first they thought I may have brain cancer so they set up another visit for me with a neurology eye sight specialist. he ordered me to do an MRI. After that he asked me to meet with a doctor at the Mellen Center. Little did I kow that it