dreams are gone

I feel like my dreams were stripped away from me. I had thought that I would be a professor or a curator at MoMA and going to study in Germany. So many dreams I dont think I will will ever do since I can barely walk. I have to keep hope alive

blah

I dont know if I want life to keep going on if it continues like this. I dunno...I am in a lot of pain and when I cant do things I feel the frustration of my husband.

kitchen fun

hooray for almost falling over twice and catching myself with the counter but spillt water all over the floor. when can I see a neurologist? this is not fair!!!!

I am super exhausted

I try to clean my kitchen and I can only stand for 20 mins max. Why does it seewm like this disease is hitting me faster than most?!? I eat right-fish, grains, veggies, fruit-ride my recumbant stationary bike and take the Copaxone. This makes no sense

pain

my body sux!! I dunno...sometimes when I have trouble walking it just needs to end. I really want this squeezing feeling to go away. why does god hate me?

Why am I like this?

You may ask why I am crabby right now. Well maybe it is because I was stuck at home almost all day again, as I always am because I do not own a car nor can I walk down to the bus stop. Or maybe because I moved across the country, thousands of miles away from my family, friends and dream job, or maybe just maybe because I have now an overdrafted bank account because we had to pay our rent and we cannot even pay the rest od our utilities. yeah Im crabby. Now yu have invited YOUR friends to stay with us for a week. yeah cuz we have TONS of money to feed you, pay for the more water you will be using. YAY! yes I am crabby.

just plain old sick

I am sick of being sick. My MS,anxiety, homesickness, loneliness is just hard!! I have no friends here and I am so far away from home. So many people I meet here are single serving friends it seems The friendship lasts just one chance encounter. It scares me to pieces not having health insurance or a Dr and I just miss my family so much. I miss going over to their place for a weekend and I miss the few friends I had there. I just need to get this out I know it takes time and I should be more adventuresome and go out and meet people but I just don't do that and never have done that. Every time I ever tried I just ended up sitting in a cafe alone. Aarggghh it is so frustrating.