I hate emotions

Why do I have to wish stupid things, like walking normally at parties? My walker is just too clunky to get around at parties and then I just always need the help of someone else to get around, which is not fair to them and not fair to me. I have started to become so envious every time I see somebody walking freely in front of me I just want to shout that it isn't fair.

I would just like to even go back to usuing my cane everywhere if I could, because at least it is not that clunky and if I could, I would do I sweet tap dance number with it.

Hey one candream. Just because I have MS, it does not mean it can inffect my positivity or dreams!

Relapse progress and a rendesvous with a ffriend

My relapse that has been kicking my butt most of February is starting to subside a little. Instead of using the lodge's big walker I have been borrowing, I have just been good with my cane and Shawn has been helping me walk too. Shawn and I went to Auburn, Washington to see our friend Chris for his 7th Birthday but really celebrating his 27th leap day birthday)

It feels good to be a little independent again. Well of course it would be! I miss the heck out of being independent!!! But it it is getting a little tiring at first. Maybe I should take it a little slower?

Progress with my book dipite my recent relapse

Since I have been dealing with my most recent sickness (just a head cold) but that of course leads to ,e having a relapse of my MS conditions, But at least this is the first one where I am not not hospital bed ridden. Thank god. Just been using the walker my husband helped me borrow from his masonic lodges. And drank a lot of juice, rest, and then, liquids.

When Shawn would be out doing lodge stuff and other things I worked on my book I am writing about MS and moving with it. Stay tuned to her more.

extreme walking

So last night, February 16, I was taking my tea cup into the sink and with my foot drop and me not paying attention I tripped on my own feet and I went splat on the ground and flung the cup down too. The cup was fine, myself not so fine. Huge bruise on my left thigh, left shoulder in pain, head knocked and still throbbing...overall- PAIN!! I don't need extreme sports. I have extreme walking

trying to keep my toes a-wiggling

So in a previous post I mentioned how my father told me to keep my toes a-wiggling. Well lately, in the pat couple of days, I have been having a harder time with my left foot. Also the same foot I am dragging a little. What the hell?!

Foot drop again?!

So since yesterday evening I once again am dragging my left foot a little behind me. It could be because I am stressed out over finding a roommate, maybe because I have been prescribed to ampyra or because of that epic fall yesterday.

That being said our coffee pot broke, AGAIN. The same scenario too. So we are using someone else coffee pot they have here; one without a lid. Well the coffee was made for me. Which rocks but it was filled all the way up so I started to spill it before even being able to pour any in the cup. As opposed to this, I had to pour some out just so I could pour some into my cup. I eventually got some in there but the cup was scalding hot because I spilt coffee on it. I had the hardest and slowest journey to set down the cup, sadly crying over it. no sense in crying over spilt milk, but good god man. It was coffee!

Appointment today

I had my neurologist appointment today followed by my research study "Wellness and MS". Overall good appointment.Was given prescriptions for Ampryia, a vitamin D at a higher level and a prescription to fight the tremors. My doctor said I am precious, which was very sweet.

Then had my appointment for the research study and it was a lot of filling in information about my mood and then a blood draw. Well the woman giving my the blood draw was kinda bad and could not get anything. Sheesh. And I did not get paid for it, which kinda sucked but I feel good for providing my info.

Oh yeah and had an epic fall n our way to the room we did this in. My foot caught on the carpet near the elevators and I started to fall. As I was falling I reach out to grab anything or anyone to stop me from falling. Well it was a man in his early 60s that I fell into. OK I clung on to the poor man but then ended up falling anyways. Not only did I hurt my back a little but I also injured my dignity

yay pain

So my back is killing me. Here is a list of the other MS symptoms I have.
*Intention tremors in my right hand
*Optic Neuritis
*fatigue
difficulties in mobility
*difficulty in balance
*problems with constipation'
*urination starting and stopping sometimes or inability to hold it
*depression

but all that aside I feel I am quite lucky. I feel I am healthier than I was before I was diagnosed. I am smoke free, eat right, work out, and lift hand weights. There is always a brighter side to a silly disease.

I. Sarah. The Lab Rat

Since I am now unable to work, I have decided to use my time helping with doing research for OHSU. When I had my last neurology appointment, my Dr., Dr. Overs suggested two research opportunities, one balance and MS and then one Lipolic Acid. I did both and then also received a call for another for Gait with MS. and last night I heard of another one, on Wellness and MS. This one will be interesting because it is a study on depression and anxiety with MS. It doesn't pay but this one is very interesting to me because I am going through, or have went through in the past. I like to spend my time on doing something to better the research for this crummy disease.

my 2012 resolution

So it is 2012 not, and normally I do not believe in resolutions but this yea maybe I should have a change I aspire to. (The reason I never had one was because most people I see that make them fail that resolution) I want to this year to fight my right hand tremors by using it as much as I can. I luckily was given a hypnotherpy session with Richard Chase of The Gnosis Group to help me visualize my mind to repair the connection.
My hand is still shaky now but I am able to use it more than I was and will continue to work on it. Next to work on is my depression.